It takes us years to build up our financial resources for retirement. We target a monetary goal for retirement and invest accordingly, but what about our vision of retirement? How do we make sure that we are on the same page with our spouse with regard to a common vision of our lifestyle in retirement?
A study by Fidelity investments indicated that approximately 4 out of 10 couples not yet retired are in disagreement about their lifestyle in retirement. One out of three disagreed about the overall vision of retirement.
Establishing Common Goals
Upon retiring, many individuals experience depression and a sense of loss. This can be overwhelming. Action-packed days are suddenly replaced with leisurely weeks with nothing on the schedule. Since we often derive our self-worth through our workplace accomplishments, we may experience a loss of identity. Engaging socially with work peers is suddenly replaced with extra time with our spouse. Conflicting goals between the two of you can result in additional stress and possibly harm your relationship. Establishing common goals is essential to a fulfilling relationship during the retirement years.
Vision of Retirement
It is important to
discuss your vision of retirement as a couple years prior to your
anticipated retirement date. Schedule time to discuss your ideas about
retirement and make this an ongoing conversation. Be as specific as
possible. It is okay to change this vision over time. Life is dynamic.
Our hobbies, interests, and goals change with time. This conversation,
will at least help set expectations for retirement, so that there are
no surprises. You can both input and affect the ultimate decisions.
If you disagree, that is okay. You can negotiate issues over time in
order to come up with a suitable workable solution that is amenable to
both of you.
If couples don’t have these types of conversations, they may be suddenly thrust into the “second act” of their lives with conflicting opinions – which will only harbor resentment.
One helpful way to get started is to map out what a typical day, week, and month looks like during retirement. Think about the following:
- Will you both retire at the same time or stagger your retirement dates?
- How much time will you allot to individual pursuits versus spending time together?
- Will the two of you travel alone or will you schedule joint trips with friends?
- How much time will spend with friends or hobbies and other activities that will not involve your partner?
- Will you need “alone” time or time that is spent in solitude without your partner?
- How active will you be? How much time will you devote to exercise, kids and grandkids, travel, friends, volunteer work?
- Will you consolidate homes or keep the vacation home and commute between both?
- Do you want to downsize your homes and free up cash for traveling and renting homes for a month at a time around the world?
- Do you want to live close to kids?
- How much support will you be providing to kids and grandkids?
- How do you plan on taking care of your spouse should he or she need long term care? How will you fund this?
Fleshing this out will have the added benefit of assisting you in determining your expenses in retirement. You can also work with a financial planner to address these softer, qualitative issues regarding your retirement lifestyle. She can assist you in prioritizing goals as a couple as well as determining how it might impact your budget in retirement. Having a third party help you map out your future in a quantitative and qualitative fashion can be a valuable exercise.
Americans tend to procrastinate saving for the future and often avoid talking about the future. Planning for your retirement lifestyle will not only help motivate you to work hard to achieve your retirement goals – a clearer vision makes it seem more real – it will also result in improved harmony with your loved one.